Should your life be fully engaged in work—or do you really need balance? The truth is blunt.

I’m going to be honest here, talking about my struggles with burnout and how I addressed them.

I’ve seen many people have a hard time balancing work and life themselves. The problem usually stems from not wanting to unplug for fear of missing an important message or call.

That’s what pushed me to write this. We’ve all been there, for many reasons:

  • Maybe you had a major life event.
  • Maybe it’s bills.
  • Maybe it’s family stress.

Life isn’t an even, stable path. We have stretches where moving forward at the same speed and on the same path feels like suffocating—and that’s okay.

You do need to communicate overload and being at your mental limit to your manager, team, lead, and reports—but do it in a professional way.

When pushing too hard stopped working

Around the start of my career, I bent over backward, wore myself down, and pushed so hard I would come home, lie on my bed, and stare at the ceiling for an hour, maybe more—but for what?

I started dwelling on all the stress and issues the job had. To be fair, there were red flags, but I kept pushing and thinking—which made it worse.

I swore to myself I’d avoid that pattern going forward. I worked on it for many years and have gotten much better at avoiding burnout, extreme stress, and the spiral that follows.

The secret isn’t a secret

Is the device in my pocket too much? Yeah—that’s a megaphone.

What I do now is make myself take time, even if it’s just one day on the weekend, when I become disconnected. I turn off my phone and don’t turn it on until at least dark.

At first, it was hard. Then it became relaxing. I would sit outside near a lake, in quiet, listening to the wind, the water, the ambient sounds.

Then I come back home and just sit down and relax. I don’t feel the need to turn on the TV. I’m happier. I’m relaxed. I reach down and pet my dog.

What works now

Now it’s liberating. I only really need a true disconnect for about eight hours every month to keep my happiness, moods, and productivity up.

I can tell I’m due for one when I’m more prone to becoming annoyed, tired, and stressed.

If you have a version of this that works for you—lake, walk, phone in a drawer—share it in the Reliability Lounge community. Real experience beats polished advice.

This post was imported from the author’s LinkedIn.